It’s called a Jack and Jill.

Or a Jack and Jack. Or a Jill and Jill. Or a Stag and Doe. Or a Buck and Doe.

No matter what you call it, this gender-neutral extravaganza is the best pre-wedding event that can be a great alternative to bridal showers, bachelorette/bachelor parties.

Put simply, a Jack and Jill is a large fundraising fiesta for friends and family for which guests pay an upfront ticket price.

Don’t freak out at the cringe-inducing words “fundraising” and “ticket price.” With a J&J, the weirdness of registering for expensive gifts that you don’t need and forcing your friends to pay for them is eliminated in favor of a cash admission price, usually as low as $10 to $15 per person.” –

“Given that the average cost of getting married in the US is $38,700 which includes engagement ring, honeymoon, and ceremony/reception (according to WeddingWire’s 2019 Newlywed report)…even couples lucky enough to have parental assistance could use a little extra cash ahead of their wedding — not to mention a kickass celebration.

“We’re glad we chose to have a Jack and Jill,” Amy*, a recently married 31-year-old from Hartford, Connecticut, told Mic. “Everyone enjoyed themselves, and the money we received helped a great deal in paying for the wedding.”

No lame gifts, no gender divisions: Jack and Jill parties are also inclusive, with much wider guest lists than the actual wedding.

“Everybody that you love and care about can be in the same place at the same time. Plus invitations extend beyond your wedding list, so the party can be pretty big,” said Claire*, a 30-year-old J&J supporter from Cromwell, Connecticut.

Tim and Claire held their J&J, a barbecue, at a rented outdoor venue and charged $25 for single tickets and $40 for couples. In exchange, guests were treated to a food buffet along with unlimited drinks, games and raffle opportunities ranging from tailgate gear to an iPad. The upfront costs of the event were covered mainly by the bride and groom, while the wedding party donated raffle items and made food and drink contributions on a volunteer basis. In other words, it was a win-win for both the couple and their guests.

As one 28-year-old female who has attended numerous J&Js told Mic, “I’d much rather show my support by purchasing a $20 ticket and drinking all day with my friends than charging something at Macy’s and having to sit through yet another game of bridal shower wedding trivia.”


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Regardless of where J&Js come from, those lucky enough to score a Jack and Jill invite should count their blessings. For couples getting married, they can be an essential source of financial help. For everyone involved, they’re a great excuse to party and let loose with those who matter most.

“We did end up profiting from our Jack and Jill,” Claire told Mic. “But it was more about just having a great time with friends and family.”

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